But it's something I'm thinking of looking into
Thứ Ba, 19 tháng 4, 2016
I just summarized the jokes I liked best in a recent Askreddit thread. Have fun!
I hope that's fitting in the Subreddit. If not, leave a downvote please.
-Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.
-I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings - its a complex complex complex.
-I have an L shaped couch... Lower case.
-I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
-A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.
-I, for one, like Roman numerals.
-You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.
-I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it was just collecting dust.
-I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.
-Am I the only one who realizes that blackboards are truly remarkable?
-I told a woman that she painted her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.
-so what if I can't spell Armageddon, it's not the end of the world.
-Inspecting mirrors is a job I could easily see myself doing.
-You know, the shovel really was a ground-breaking invention.
-A dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
-The guy who invented autocorrect has died… restaurant in Piece
-light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for a night, light the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
-Why is it so hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they take everything literally.
-Dwarves and midgets have very little in common.
This was Actually Said..
This was actually said in court and taken from a transcript:
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
Lets go to the symphony
Beethoven: You guys want some symphonies tonight!?
Crowd: cheers loudly
Beethoven: I can't hear you!
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