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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Tư, 20 tháng 4, 2016

A dog goes into a telegraph office

A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form, and writes: “Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof, Woof.”

The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

The dog looks confused and replies, “But that would make no sense at all."

Thứ Ba, 19 tháng 4, 2016

I've never owned a telescope...

But it's something I'm thinking of looking into

I just summarized the jokes I liked best in a recent Askreddit thread. Have fun!

I hope that's fitting in the Subreddit. If not, leave a downvote please.

-Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.

-I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings - its a complex complex complex.

-I have an L shaped couch... Lower case.

-I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

-A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.

-I, for one, like Roman numerals.

-You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

-I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it was just collecting dust.

-I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.

-Am I the only one who realizes that blackboards are truly remarkable?

-I told a woman that she painted her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.

-so what if I can't spell Armageddon, it's not the end of the world.

-Inspecting mirrors is a job I could easily see myself doing.

-You know, the shovel really was a ground-breaking invention.

-A dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

-The guy who invented autocorrect has died… restaurant in Piece

-light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for a night, light the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

-Why is it so hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they take everything literally.

-Dwarves and midgets have very little in common.

What's Hitler's least favorite planet?

Jewpiter.

This was Actually Said..

This was actually said in court and taken from a transcript:

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know, but it's not five, because my basement is still dark.

Lets go to the symphony

Beethoven: You guys want some symphonies tonight!?

Crowd: cheers loudly

Beethoven: I can't hear you!