Funny Story

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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Ba, 27 tháng 12, 2016

And the award for the best neckwear goes to...

Well, would you look at that, it's a tie!

An old woman phones her husband..

An old woman called her husband during his drive home, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"

Herman said, "It's not just one car. There’s bloody hundreds of them!"

I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas.

Now I'm fucking stuck taking care of a puppy.

What do you call immigrants to Sweden?

Artificial Swedeners

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger?

One if nobody's looking.

A man walks into a library...

A man walks into a library and says "Excuse me, miss, but do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian goes to the computer, types a few things in, and says "I don't think it's in yet."

The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one..."

An Englishman, A German, and a Mexican...

...are at the Olympic stadium unsuccessfully trying to get in to watch the events without tickets.

The Englishman sees that next to the stadium there is a construction site. He walks over and picks up a large construction hammer and takes it to the stadium entrance.

The security guard says "where is your ticket?"

The Englishman says: Michael Kensington, hammer throw..I'm late

The guard lets him in right away.

The German, seeing this, walks to the construction site and picks up a steel bar and takes it to the entrance.

The security guard says "where is your ticket?"

The German says: Maximillian Von Heidelberg: Javelin...I am late.

The guard lets him in right away.

The Mexican, seeing this, walks over the to construction yard and takes a few planks of wood and some steel cable to the entrance.

The security guard says "where is your ticket?"

The Mexican says: Juan Carlos De Los Parlotes De Amadeo, fencing.