An Old Man is thrown out of a bar

A young man who was walking down the street says "Hey Old-Timer, what happened in there". The old man looks at him and says "Well son, I am Jesus Christ". "Jesus Christ?", the young man replied skeptically. "Yes my son, follow me", the old man said as he walked into the bar.

As he enters, the bartender turns around and says "Jesus Christ! not you again!"

Read More

So a dad is fed up with his son lying to him…

Dad: (brings home lie detector) so son, what did you do today?

Son: I went to school

(Beep)

Son: fine, I went to my friends house.

Dad: what did you do at your friends house?

Son: we watched a movie

Dad: what kind of movie?

Son: A Disney film

(Beep)

Son: Ok fine we watched an r rated movie

Dad: Holy crap, even I wasn't exposed to that kind of material when I was a kid

(Beep)

(Everyone looks at the dad)

Mom: Well, he's your son

(BEEP)

Read More

Parking a single car doesn’t require much space.

But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.

Read More

You guys wanna hear a construction joke?

..... hold on I'm working on it.

(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)

Read More

My dad was so Competitive that on his death bed, as he breathed his last

He said, "Staring contest... GO."

Read More

Chinese doctor in the US

An Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100

A American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...

Lawyer : "I have lost my sense of taste"

Chinese doctor : "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"

Lawyer : "Ugh..this is kerosene"

Chinese doctor : "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20"

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...

Lawyer : "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"

Chinese doctor : "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"

Lawyer (annoyed) : "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"

Chinese doctor : "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20"

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer : "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all "

Chinese doctor : "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100"

Lawyer (staring at the bill) : "But this is $20, not $100"

Chinese doctor : "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

Read More

Trump, First Lady Pull Out Of Kennedy Center Honors Ceremony To Avoid 'Distraction' For Honorees

Trump, First Lady Pull Out Of Kennedy Center Honors Ceremony To Avoid 'Distraction' For Honorees
The White House, already facing a growing boycott by several honorees, announced that the Trumps will not participate in this year's annual Kennedy Center Honors ceremony.

August 19, 2017 at 09:31PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2vbq2nD

Read More