A couple is walking in St. Petersburg square on Christmas eve. They feel a slight precipitation.

"I think it's raining" says the man. "I think it's snowing" says the woman. "How about we ask this Communist officer here? He's always right!" Exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?" "Definitely raining," officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."...

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A woman gave her little boy a dollar and told him to go spend it wisely

So the boy walks out the door and starts walking down the street, when he sees a man holding a duck. "Hey mister," the boy asks, "that's a nice duck. Where did you get it?" "I found it," the man said, "and I'm taking it to the market to sell." "How much do you want for it?" the little boy asked. "A dollar." Well, the little boy had a dollar, so he bought the duck, and went off to play with him. Soon enough a woman comes by and notices the duck. "Hey, that's an adorable duck you have there," she said. "Thanks," the little boy said, "I just bought...

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Net Neutrality Is Not the Problem | Backchannel

Net Neutrality Is Not the Problem | Backchannel I’ve got bad news for everyone who is working overtime to protest Federal Communications Commission chair Ajit Pai’s campaign to eliminate net neutrality: You are being tricked. November 29, 2017 at 09:39PM via Digg http://ift.tt/2jyL3...

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Deep.

Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel. Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel. Realist sees light from incoming train. Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track....

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My wife and I decided not to have kids...

..the kids are taking it pretty hard....

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Datasheet of a Woman

Element | Woman Symbol | ♀ Discoverer | Adam Atomic Mass   | Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg Physical Properties: Body surface normally covered with a film of powder and paint Boils at absolutely nothing - freezes with no apparent reason Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore. Chemical Properties: Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning The most powerful money reducing agent known to man Hazards Turns green when placed alongside...

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How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass....

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