So I bought her a candle. That showed her.
Thứ Tư, 24 tháng 1, 2018
Thứ Ba, 23 tháng 1, 2018
A man visits the dentist after doing 69
After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, a man remembered he had a dentist appointment.
He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath, so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of Listerine mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist, he chewed 5 strong mints too.!
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide.
The dentist got close enough & said, "Man, did you have a 69 before you came here?"
The guy was shocked, and asked, "Does my breath smell like pussy?"
The dentist said, "No; your forehead smells like ass..!!"
A husband and wife were grocery shopping ...
A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.
"It's on sale. Only $10 for a case," he replies.
"We can't afford it. Put it back," demands the wife. They continue shopping and a few minutes later the wife puts a $20 jar of face cream into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
"So does the Budweiser and it's half the price," retorts the husband.
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.
The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?"
"Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.
Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?"
"Ummm... 10!" says the blonde.
"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history.
"OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
"Ummm... I don't know," the blonde admits.
"Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of her.
So the blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. "Not only did I get the job," she says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"
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