Women are like tornadoes

They arrive hot and wet

They leave with the house and half of the furnitures

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My mate rang me and asked,

My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"

I said, "Probably failing my driving test."

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They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

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Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors?

To see the battlefield

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Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears...

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...

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I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me.

The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."

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Just invented a new drink. Vodka, cranberry juice, lime, and rohypnol.

Its called the Cosbypolitan

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