...they hired me.
Chủ Nhật, 27 tháng 5, 2018
Dad’s first drink with his son
I took my son out for his first pint.
Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.
I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.
Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it. I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's, nope!
In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest.He wouldn't even smell it.
What could I do but drink it!
By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so bloody drunk I could hardly push his pram back home.
I was delighted when my wife suggested we bring a third person into our relationship...
"Your friend Katie perhaps?" I mused. "I've always had a bit of a thing for her."
She replied, "No, you prick!! I meant a baby."
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks ‘Why is the last one so cheap?’
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.
When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.
When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laugh too.
When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
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