Let a doctor do it, hes a professional.
Thứ Hai, 26 tháng 8, 2019
Once there was a girl named Darling...
... had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name. She always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school and hated her parents for the pain they inflicted on her. By the time she graduated school, however, she overcame her anger and embraced her unusual name finding it brought her some fame as a competitive soccer player.
Darling met and married a handsome veterinarian named Chorus who worked at an African wildlife reserve and, in time, they had a baby boy. Despite the hardships she endured, she demanded that the child also have a unique name but she didn’t want the boy to know it was her idea. She told the father that the boy’s name would be “Love” and that he had to pretend that it was his idea. He reluctantly agreed.
Darling’s soccer career flourished and Chorus became head of pachyderm health at the wildlife reserve. As Love grew, he endured the same ridicule and taunting that his mother did. Love’s father continued to cover for his wife's decision and argued that in time he would learn to appreciate his unique name.
One day, Chorus was at work preparing a tranquilizer gun to work on an elephant when Love burst into his office. Love raged about the misery his name had caused him but Chorus kept up the pretense that the name was his own idea. Love grabbed the tranquilizer gun and shot his father with one of the potent darts before fleeing.
Chorus struggled for life aware that the elephant tranquilizer would kill him in a few short minutes. Darling, returning from a soccer practice found her husband struggling on the floor in his last moments of consciousness. Rushing to him, she held him in her arms and asked what happened? With his last labored breath
Chorus:
Shot with a dart and you’re to blame, Darling.
You gave Love a bad name.
I played my part while you played your game.
You gave love a bad name.”
There was a man who drove trains for a living.
He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
My wife is pregnant and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.
I replied, "Yes just once."
The doctor asked, "What was it like?"
I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright."
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