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Thứ Sáu, 27 tháng 9, 2019

Why the head of the penis is larger than the shaft.

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a mans' penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didnt really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00 ( 3 cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead

What’s the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and Diarrhea. Your running, but can’t remember where.

I was sitting on the toilet and having a poop when the clock struck midnight.

Same shit, different day.

I'm AMERICAN and I BLEED red, white and blue!

I really should see a doctor about it, but I can't afford the copay.

Little Johnny has issues at school [Long] NSFW

Little Johnny: Dad my math teacher has called you to school

Dad: and why’s that ?

Little Johnny : he asked what’s 6x9 and I said 54. He then asked what’s 9x6...

Dad: isn’t that the same fucking question again?

Little Johnny: that’s exactly what I said !?!

Next day

Little Johnny: Dad did you go to see my teacher?

Dad : No

Little Johnny: Don’t bother. You’ll need to see the principal now.

Dad: what now ?!?

Little Johnny: the PE teacher asked me to lift my left arm first, then my right arm, then my left foot and then my right foot !

Dad: what the fuck ! Were you supposed to stand on your Dick?

Little Johnny: that’s exactly what I said!

Next day

Little Johnny: Dad did you see my principal?

Dad: not yet. I’ll go tomorrow.

Little Johnny: too late. I’ve been suspended for for a week now.

Dad: and what’s that for?

Little Johnny: I was called to the principal’s office today. The math teacher, PE teacher and the English teacher were already there.

Dad: what the fuck did the mother fucking English teacher have to do with any of this fuck wittery?

Little Johnny: that’s exactly what I said !!!

A woman is bathing her 7 year old son, the kid looks at his wrinkled ballsack and asks...

Mom, is this my brain?

The mother replies: not yet son, not yet...

A blonde wants to travel abroad.

She parks her car in front of a bank near the airport and gets out with her trolleys. She then enters the bank and walks to the next teller.

Blonde: Hello, I want to get a loan for $1000,-

Teller: Very well. But I need a credit security in order to grant you that loan.

Blonde: How about my car? It is right in front of the bank entrance.

The teller takes a look through the glass door: Very well, this car is valuable enough.

The blonde and the teller exchange keys and loan. After that, the blonde walks off with her trolleys and gets to her airplane.

Two weeks later she returns to the bank with her trolleys and sees the teller she had received her loan from 2 weeks ago.

The blonde approaches the teller: Hello mister. I have taken a loan of $1000,- from you and I wish to return it today and get my car back.

Teller: Very well, I accept your payment of $1000,- with an additional $5,- as interest. If you pay off the total of $1005,- , then you will get your car keys back.

The blonde and the teller exchange the money for the car keys. Before the blonde walks off, the teller asks her one last question.

Teller: Excuse my curiosity, but why did you leave your car for security in exchange of that small amount of money?

The blonde smiles back: Because nowhere else you can park that close to an airport for just 5 bucks for two weeks.