One of the first steps toward becoming a man...

One day, the father of a young boy decides that it's time to teach his son how to pee standing up.

"Alright, son, this is one thing that will help you become a man. It's a privilege we have that women do not, so it's important to take advantage of it. All you have to do is follow these nine steps."

The boy listens intently and follows each direction:

"Step one: unzip your trousers."

"Okay."

"Step two: pull out your penis."

"Got it."

"Step three: pull back your foreskin. This will help you aim better."

"Oh, I see."

"Step four: go pee, making sure to squeeze out every drop."

*grunts* "Easy enough."

"Step five: push your foreskin back into place."

"Right."

"Step six: tuck your penis back inside your underwear."

"Yeah."

"Step seven: zip up your trousers."

"Uh huh."

"Step eight: flush the toilet."

"Well of course, dad."

"Step nine: wash your hands. Your mom will raise hell if you skip this one."

"Oh, okay."

"And that's it! Now one last thing that your grandpa told me when he taught me all this at your age: saying the number of each step out loud will help you remember to do them in the right order and save you from making a mess."

"Thanks dad! I feel like a real man now!"

"That's my boy."

A few days later, the boy is in the bathroom, and his father happens to walk past the closed door. Wondering whether the boy has been practicing what he had taught him, the dad pauses to listen, but all he hears is:

"Threefivethreefivethreefivethreefive..."