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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Sáu, 29 tháng 4, 2016

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child.

The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"

What is heavy forwards but not backwards?

A ton.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

What concert can you go to for 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence.

After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away.

Then he decided to look through the window. He shouted, "Do you think I'm stupid? I can see you in there, ma'am. Open the door." I said, "You're not coming in!"

He said, "I don't want to come in, I just want you to step out of the car."

During a class on good manners...

and etiquette being held at an all boys school the teacher says to her students:

“If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the restroom, what would you say to her?”

Little Mike replies: “Wait a minute, I gotta go take a piss.”

The teacher says: “That would be very rude and improper on your part.”

Little Charlie chimes in with his attempt: “I’m sorry. I need to go to the toilet. I’ll be back soon.”

The teacher says: “That’s much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal may come across as unpleasant.“

Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend with whom I hope to be able to introduce you to after dinner.”

It may not be "politically correct" to say this...

...but there are over one million U.S Senators.