Because he has small legs.
Chủ Nhật, 8 tháng 7, 2018
[NSFW] A hunter goes to the forest. He sees a bear and fires at it, but misses. The bear is nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly the bear taps him on his shoulder and says, "You tried to kill me, either I'll kill you or pull down your trousers and let me fuck you". The man chose life.
He goes home embarrassed, buys a bigger gun and goes back to hunt the bear. He sees it at a distance, fires, misses, the bear disappears in the thick brush only to pop up behind him a little later. The bear recognizes the hunter and says, "You know the choices."
The hunter, after being fucked again, brings a bazooka to get over his humiliation. He finds the bear, fires and falls back due to recoil. The smoke clears and the bear is standing over him, rubbing it's chin. "You don't come here for hunting, do you?"
Steve Ditko's Genius Made Him Something He Disdained — A Beloved Celebrity
Steve Ditko's Genius Made Him Something He Disdained — A Beloved Celebrity
For the artist who gave the world Spider-Man, the focus was entirely on his work, and he wanted other people's focus there, too.
July 8, 2018 at 01:45AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2uaB2Dl
An ok dude dies and goes to heaven
Reaching the Pearly Gates, he sees Saint Peter, who stops him immediately. Saint Peter then says :
"Hey you, where do you think you're going ?"
"Inside", says the guy.
"Inside?" The Saint wonders. "Let me check my books for a while."
So, a couple minutes pass and he finally founds him.
"Hmm, I see. It appears that you are an ok dude, average, never done anything super bad or anything really good. So, to let you inside our fine establishment, you're gonna have to tell me a really nice thing you did that I might not know."
The guy thinks for a moment and says :
"Ok there Saint Peter, I'll tell you a story then. I was walking down a dark alley, when all of a sudden I saw about fifteen punks trying to rape a poor girl. It was awful. I sprinted all the way, and grabbed they heaviest thing I could find. I went to their leader and BLAM, I opened his head with this huge rock I found. I took 2 steps back and shouted to the others "Come on, you bastards!!! You either let her go or I'll finish you!!" "
Saint Peter amazed, his mouth open, says :
"Holy shit dude! You managed to take the other 14 punks all by yourself? How did we miss that? When did it happen?
"Oh well. About 5 minutes ago."
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost.
He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said "Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on". She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7, you're on 6". He thanked her and continued playing golf. On the back nine he got lost again. He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed. "I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please tell me what hole I'm on". She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14. You are on 13". Again, he thanked her and continued playing golf. When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted. As they were drinking and talking he asked her what she did for a living. "I'm in sales". He replied "no kidding so am I. What do you sell?" She said it's too embarrassing to tell. But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if he promised not to laugh. He promised. She said "I sell tampons". He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically. She said "You promised you wouldn't laugh". He replied "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet paper. I'm still one hole behind you".
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