...and goes up to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looks his name up in his book and shakes his head.
"What's that mean?" the guy says.
"You gotta go down," Saint Peter says.
The guy gets put on an elevator and takes the ride down to hell. When the doors open, he sees a large, oval shaped room with red velvet carpet and good music playing at a comfortable level. The room is filled with a hundred or so of the best looking people the guy's ever seen, men in tuxedos, women in fantastic gowns. He steps into the room and sees the room is lined with leather couches, and waitresses are walking around and handing out champagne. Completely taken aback, the guy decides to go sit on one of the couches, alone, and watch.
After fifteen minutes of watching, the elevator opens and a seven-foot tall goatee'd man in a red tuxedo steps out and starts glad-handing everyone. The guy notices he has small horns on his forehead and a tail out the back of the tuxedo. The red tuxedo'd man comes over and shakes the guy's hand. He says, "Hey glad you made it! Welcome to Hell. I'm Satan. If there's anything I can do for you to make your stay comfortable, let me know."
Still stunned, the guy nods and continues to sit while Satan goes off to talk to others. He notices the room is walled with tinted glass, but beyond the glass, he can make out fire, brimstone, and shadowed human figures writhing in agony.
When Satan comes back over to the newly deceased guy, he says, "Hey, I hope you're enjoying your first day here. Is there anything I can get for you? Champagne? Cocaine?"
The guy shakes his head and says, "Uh, no, thanks, but I was wondering... what's with all the people out in the fire? They're in agony."
Satan ahs and nods. "Those are the Christians. They wouldn't have it any other way."
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