As he's standing at a urinal, another fellow walks up to a nearby urinal. Eddie glances over and notices the other guy has no arms; both of the sleeves of his jacket are empty and folded over. Armless guy says to Eddie, "Hey buddy, do you think you could help me out?"
"What can I do for you?" says Eddie, praying he isn't going to ask what he thinks he might. Sure enough, he does.
"I know this is a lot to ask of a complete stranger, but would you mind unbuttoning my trousers so I can take a leak? As you can see, I'm in a tight spot here."
Eddie grimaces a little before reluctantly agreeing. He quickly reaches over and undoes the guy's zipper.
Armless guy then says, "Do you think you could, you know, pull it out for me? Sorry to ask, but I'm about to piss myself.
Eddie says, "You gotta be kidding. You're asking me to grab your dick and aim it towards the pisser?"
"Please, man, I don't have any other options here."
Eddie, feeling sorry for the guy and feeling pissed off simultaneously, mutters to himself as he reaches in, and gingerly pulls out his dick. As he does, he first of all notices this putrid smell before seeing several open oozing sores on the guy's dick. Totally disgusting. While the guy is pissing, Eddie rushes over to the sink and washes his hands in hot water. As the armless guy finishes up, Eddie grabs a couple of paper towels because he knows what's coming. Sure enough, he gets asked if he'll put it away for him.
As he tucks the guy's horrific pecker back into his trousers and buttons him up, Eddie says to the guy, "OK listen, I'm sorry but I have to ask ... What the hell is the deal with your dick?!
"Beats the shit out of me," he answers, and then produces both arms from inside his jacket and slides them into his sleeves, "But I sure as fuck don't want to touch it."
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