Thứ Bảy, 26 tháng 10, 2019

Warning: to some, this joke is sexist / religiously offensive (but I don't agree)

Three men die and go to heaven.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says to them, "Congratulations; you made it into heaven! God has one rule, however, which is: YOU CANNOT STEP ON, KILL, OR TOUCH A DUCK. If you do, you will be punished."

The men think this is rather strange, but they agree.

A couple of days later, they decide to have a picnic. It's a beautiful day; the sun is shining, the skies are blue, etc. As they lay down the blanket, one of the men sits on a suspicious-looking lump (which turns out to be a duck).

St. Peter appears instantly. "I GAVE YOU ONE RULE!", he bellows, "And you could not follow it!? I have no choice but to punish you." Despite the man's pleas, St. Peter continues, "As punishment, you are now bound to the ugliest woman in heaven for all eternity!" Both St. Peter and the man vanish.

The next day, the two remaining men take a walk in a park. One of the men doesn't look where he's going, and all of the sudden... CRUNCH! - a duck has been stepped on.

As with the last time, St. Peter appears instantly. "You know what I must do - you are now bound to the next ugliest woman in heaven for all eternity!"

Three years later, the final man is relaxing in his house, when out of the blue, St. Peter appears. Expecting something bad, the man gets on his knees and asks what St. Peter wants. he replies, "Since you have been so good as to not touch a duck for the past three years, I will reward you by binding you to the most beautiful woman in heaven for all of eternity."

As St. Peter describes her, the man really thinks she sounds gorgeous. He is so eager to meet her that he asks, "When do I see her?" St. Peter snaps his fingers, and POOF - the man is meeting his soul mate. They talk for a while, until he says to her, "You're so beautiful and smart and funny; what did I do to deserve you?" The woman responds, "I don't know; all I had to do was step on a duck!"

Sorry about the length of this one, folks. I thought it was worth sharing.

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