Farmer Greg

A seasoned farmer named Greg had finally mastered his craft. He toiled day and night to understand every detail to growing the perfect crop. After 30 years he had made enough money to retire, but Greg wanted more. He wanted local recognition and fame.

So he decided to grow the state’s largest watermelon. It took him 3 years but he finally did it. Greg went to the state fair, won an award and cash prize, but when he came back home nobody in his town cared.

A month later, he decided to grow the world’s largest carrot. This time it took him only 2 years. Authenticators came to inspect his product and concluded it was the longest and girthiest carrot they had ever seen! Reporters came from across the country to interview Greg and take pictures of his massive vegetable. He won the Guinness world record for largest carrot, but nobody in his town even seemed to notice.

One day, Greg saw a small crowd gathered near his property. It seemed that at least half of the town had assembled, so he decided to see what had brought them out.

“Hey Greg!” One of the men shouted from the crowd.

“What brings you out here?” Greg responded.

“We heard that you had moved and rebuilt your fence. Greg, this is incredible! It’s the best, straightest fence we’ve ever seen, it looks great!”

The old farmer paused for a second and scowled. Greg replied, “After all this time; from world records, to state awards, and news crews foaming at the mouth to look at my massive carrot, this is what you notice??” His voice rose to a yell. “All you fuckers care about is a LOUSY REPOST?!?!”