Chủ Nhật, 29 tháng 8, 2021

Farmer John and his wife and three sons were living on a small farm in the middle of the Great Depression. (Long)

Their only source of income and solace was their old cow, Mary, who gave them milk, baby cows, company. She was the main family supporter. One day John wakes up and sees her all over the field. Like someone stuck a grenade in her food and she exploded. Grief-stricken, he hang himself on the nearest tree. His wife wakes up, looks at the field, at the cow remains and her husband on the tree and hangs herself next to him. The oldest son wakes up, sees the cow dead, mom and dad dead, he walks to the local stream to drown himself.

And lo and behold, a goldfish appears! She promises to fulfil his three wishes, get his mom, dad and Mary the cow back. Okay, says the brother, but what’s the catch. There is always a catch. She says oh it’s easy you need to fuck me three times. Okay. He fucks her once, twice, can’t go a third time and drowns.

Middle brother wakes up, sees the cow, mom, dad, goes to the stream, sees his brother’s body. But there’s the goldfish and the deal is as before! Fuck me three times and get your wishes fulfilled. He fucks once, twice, can’t go the third time, drowns.

The youngest brother wakes up. Same here, mom and dad dead, cow dead, brothers dead, goldfish appears. You can bring them back just fuck me three times. Three times, he ponders, can I go four? Of course you can. Can I go five? Sure thing. Can I go ten? Mate, go as many times as you like, the goldfish says. So he asks nervously “and you won’t burst like the cow?”.

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