Does your dick touch your asshole?

A father and son are sitting on the porch and the father starts drinking a beer.

Son: "Hey Dad, can I try a sip of your beer?"

Father: "Tell me son... does your dick touch your asshole?"

Son: "No, it doesn't."

Father: "Then no, you can't have any."

The father finishes his beer and lights up a cigarette.

Son: "Dad, can I try your cigarette?"

Father: "Does your dick touch your asshole?"

Son: "No."

Father: "Then you can't try it."

The pair head to a convenience store to pick up more beer and smokes. The father decides to buy a couple scratch tickets and gives one to his son. They scratch away and the father's is a loser, but the son wins $500.

Father: "Say boy, I bought that ticket for you. You're going to share that with me, right?"

Son: "I don't know, Dad. Does your dick touch your asshole?"

Father, proudly: "Why yes it does!"

Son: "Good, go fuck yourself."