"How am I still alive?"
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Fuck you that just was a lucky guess.
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When erect it proudly reads Wendy on the side of his shaft, but when soft it only shows Wy . While on his honeymoon in the Caribbean, he ...
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http://ift.tt/1vjvj9Z
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When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed h...
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When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it ...
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Man: Wow, this shop really has everything! Shopkeeper: Yes, but I warn you... every item comes at a price. Man: Yes, I know how shops ...
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The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it before he got home ...
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“There are 3 birds on a wire, one gets shot, how many are left?” Little Johnny raises his hand, “there are none left, once the one bird wa...
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Because she wanted to see the task manager.
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2020
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- JOB APPLICANT AT A WINERY
- The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
- I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer fo...
- If I were American, I'd vote Bernie...
- A man dies and goes to hell.
- There's this kid named Tommy. He has no body. He i...
- I just realized my countertop is made of marble..
- I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov...
- Dr. Geezer
- Doctor just told a nun that she is pregnant.
- I think my wife is putting glue on my rifle collec...
- What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
- How much space will Brexit free up in the EU?
- In his grandfather's overcoat pocket, a man finds ...
- Women always call me ugly until they find out how ...
- Anal sex is like getting your first crappy and old...
- Hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
- i call myself terms and conditions
- I always carry a picture of my wife and children i...
- A lot of things are going to change since I got my...
- If the line you're waiting in is too long...
- Just found out that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger...
- I have six goldfish named Major, Minor, Flat Nine,...
- I just read the “100 things to do before you die” ...
- Two Gay men are on a long overnight flight.
- What do you call a kid who is born in a whorehouse?
- Does your dick touch your asshole?
- 4 people having sex is called a foursome
- What do you call a slow bullet?
- What do a midget and a dwarf have in common?
- Why do men give their jackets to women when they a...
- It's a young blonde genie's first day on the job...
- I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I...
- Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago, h...
- Did you hear about the hungry clock?
- A Boy was having sex with a girl on a Railway track
- My wife has a tattoo of a shell on the inside of h...
- A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her ...
- Two Boys One Tampon
- A guy takes up a new job.
- A dad was depressed, so he went to the liquor store
- When you say the word "poop"
- A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her...
- I didn't take my husband's name when I got married.
- To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on ...
- I starting wearing depressing outfits
- Man asks the Waitress: "Excuse me, can I ask you s...
- A guy sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl ...
- "I can't ever see you again. I won't let you hurt ...
- [NSFW]An old dark joke
- When the doctor told me that he had fitted a therm...
- Friend told me to stop filing taxes and go watch a...
- My friend David had his ID stolen.
- Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, b...
- To the person who stole my glasses
- A tree's first winter must be terrifying.
- How do flat-earthers travel the earth?
- [nsfw] A chef had a one night stand with a 5 foot ...
- Everyone knows of famous martial artist, Bruce Lee
- A husband and wife were sleeping one night
- What do you call a person who doesn’t wash his han...
- This guy Bill has been having headaches for about ...
- A very old joke called, "Why Worry?"
- An Authoritarian walks into a bar.
- A guy gets hit by a car.
- My wife left me because I am insecure
- Donald Trump gets executed and is hanged by the ne...
- My friends always get mad at me when I steal their...
- Chicken walks into a bar
- The other day I told a girl, “You look great witho...
- Sex Therapy
- “Roger Federer, what do you love most about your c...
- A higgs boson particle goes into a church...
- I'm trying to work on being less condescending.
- Not to brag, but I’ve satisfied every waitress tha...
- A snake walks into a bar..
- My neighbor knocked on my door this morning at 3 AM!
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- I tried to re-marry my ex wife
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- An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
- After hearing me sing for the first time, my music...
- xi jinping has coronavirus
- r/jokes has a discord and you need to join!
- Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary
- What did Charizard say to Pikachu?
- Wife is pregnant
- I bought a dog off a blacksmith today....
- Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the ...
- The internet connection at my farm was really poor...
- My daughter was trying to convince me that the dre...
- “I love you loads, honey pie.” My wife said earlier.
- The man who invented Velcro has died.
- It's easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods.
- What's the difference between a politician and a f...
- My twin brother prefers to take the stairs, but I ...
- Don’t worry, the coronavirus won’t last long.
- I asked my English teacher where the last name Smi...
- A woman brought a very limp duck to Dr.Santa, a ve...
- I predict, in years to come there’ll be a nuclear ...
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