Thứ Ba, 31 tháng 5, 2016

Jake is driving in the desert...

And he's driving wildly. He's doing tons of doughnuts to pass the time. Suddenly, his car stops. Jake checks and realizes that he's out of gas. And nowhere near civilization. And without water.

Realizing he needs liquids for the trek ahead of him, so he searches his car for something. The only thing he finds is his poisonous windshield wiper fluid. To at least have something, Jake decides to take it with him.

And then the journey begins.

So he walks...

And walks...

And walks...

Eventually, he gets too exhausted to walk, so he crawls...

And crawls...

And crawls...

And crawls...

Dehydrated from the blazing desert heat, he gives in to his reflexes and drinks the windshield wiper fluid.

It didn't help.

So he continued to crawl...

And crawl...

And crawl...

But then, as he thought he couldn't crawl anymore, he sees the strangest thing in his entire life: a snake wrapped around a large upright stick.

Bewildered, he approached the reptile.

Then, the snake speaks to Jake:

"Hello, I am Nate, Guardian of the Lever. If the lever is pulled, the entire universe, everything in it, and all life will come to an end. I was told that the next person who approaches would be the new Guardian of the Lever, and I was to grant him three wishes to reward him for accepting this noble task."

Jake processes the extreme responsibility bestowed upon him, and gladly accepts his new role. He begins with his first wish:

"First, make me healthy. I am simultaneously dying of windshield wiper poisoning and dehydration."

And Nate obeyed; with a swish of his tail, Jake was cured.

"Second, get me out of this desert. While the Lever is great, I want to go home."

Nate replies, "Before I grant your second wish, what is your third wish?"

Jake ponders this, and finally decides, "I want all of the wisdom in the entire universe. I want to understand how to be successful and live life to the fullest."

And then Nate granted both of Jake's wishes, bringing him back home with new knowledge.

With this knowledge, Jake became very wealthy. He bought a beautiful house with an amazing view, started a family, and sold an extremely successful start-up.

However, Jake knew of his responsibility, and would often go to see his good friend Nate, who still lived by the Lever because he had been there for so long.

On one of his trips to visit Nate, Jake takes a new car through the desert. After a distance, Jake sees the Lever, a cliff, and Nate. Jake decides to stop the car and reaches to brake, but he unfortunately bought his car from the wrong person, for the brakes weren't working. Jake analyzes the situation. If he keeps going straight, he'll plummet off of a cliff. If he turns left, he'll hit the Lever which will end the entire universe, everything in it, and all life. If he turns right, he'll crush his good friend Nate.

Jake knows the correct decision.

He turns right and kills his good friend Nate.

Jake then exclaims, "Better Nate than Lever!"

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